I recently spent time reading a good friend, Simon T. Bailey’s book, “Releasing Your Brilliance” last night and it got me thinking down that road. Although I am a coach and work with people on a daily basis to find their inner wisdom and to always build on their strengths, I often fail to achieve my own inner brilliance.
A visit to my mentor coach, Dwight Bain, usually cures that. Dwight is working with me to focus on my strengths and not what wears me out. My training session with Dwight set off the fireworks and he challenged me to write the titles of my next 10 books. I am happy to say that this exercise has been done and I am excited about what has developed.
I learned that we all have a fishing net that helps us capture opportunities or sales for our business. If there are holes in the fishing net, where the systems are not set up, then you are missing opportunities. I have some holes in my network, and part of that is wasting time on projects that are not profitable.
What I’ve been learning is that when you play many roles in many people’s lives, there are times when you just have to take a breath, slow down, and regroup. Sometimes, there will be moments of questions in your mind, moments of doubt, and moments when you think, is it really worth it and is this what I really want anyway? Other times, you will think, “Why did I spend all that time doing that and it did absolutely nothing beneficial for me at all?”
Sometimes the roles we play will become more important and we have to walk away or say “no now” to the other roles in which we take an active role for part of our lives. For example, for the past 2 weeks and next week, I have let the role of mom dominate my time. I’ve been shopping at school, reading to my son, visiting the library, and getting last minute play dates and fun times to make him have fond memories of this summer. As a result, I have not finished some projects on my desk and have had to turn down some works that have been presented to me during this time. I want the money? Who does not? But my “role” this week is to be the best mom I can be, so the money that comes in doesn’t make me a better mom.
I have other projects that are in the gestation stage and the illusion of my colleagues is fun but again I have to evaluate it and ask myself: “Does this fit into my life right now and is it a priority for me”? My coach asked me to use the word: WIIFM – What’s in it for me? He decided that I am a giver and many times I give more than I have received. I have to agree that this has been true. As a result, I have been able to step away and look at the energy and time that will be given to that project, and what benefit will it bring and feed my values? If not, then I have to say no, or not now to the project. If it works, I can configure my systems to benefit my business.
So now, I ask myself the question: “Does this fill part of my network? Does this activity promote my values or is it a project that I hope to finish?” If not, then I have to put the activity in my social time, or exercise or another value-driven activity. If it doesn’t fit anywhere, I have to ask, is this what I should do at this point in my life?
And you? Do you spend time doing things that don’t fill your network? Are you wasting time or allowing it to drain? Or are you spending time with the people who fill you up and doing activities that will help you or others close to you in some way?
The challenge is figuring out what you want to achieve. Will you be the best mom in the world for your children? What do you think about this? If so, what activities would you and your children be doing? Would they be enjoying themselves in front of the television or the computer, or would they be with you in the pool or exploring or learning a new activity? Want to be the best in sales this quarter? How are you going to get there? Will it be reading all the emails that come in your mailbox or will it be to spend more time listening to motivational tapes?
This week I’m going to be a mom. I am cooking, nurturing, reading, exercising, and shopping. I still have work to do, but I’ll do it after hours. Next week, I will work on my products, find publishers, and write and edit my book. I will start organizing meetings with potential business partners and alliances.
Next Saturday August 18, 2007 I will give one of my favorite workshops: “Developing Your Inner Charisma” at The Knowledge Shop in Winter Park. (www.theknowledgeship.us) It’s Saturday from 1 to 4 pm When you see me there, I’ll be the charisma coach! I will cheer on the participants and help them see where their special brilliance lies. And I will know that I will be experiencing mine: helping others find what works for them. I will feel that special feeling of loving being a coach, and I will know that I was the best mom I could be all week, and that is the best feeling of knowing … that I can do both!