Researchers tell us that one’s happiness depends on having a partner. If this is true, than in these days, when life expectancy is getting longer and longer, it becomes even more crucial that you find a partner with whom to develop a successful intimacy.
But can you do that? Do you know how to build a successful intimacy? What kind of experiences have you had so far? How many of them were a success story and how many have you failed?
Not losing hope of having a successful intimacy is great. And to achieve your goal, you can keep interacting with dating sites, meeting others and trying to develop relationships.
But if you don’t, for one reason or another, you may develop anxiety and think to yourself, “I still have years to live, does that mean I’ll just be on my own from now on?”
If an intimate relationship is of utmost importance to you, it is not only because of who you are, because of your need and desire to have a partner, but also because, in all probability, you have already retired, or are about to retire. and as she looks ahead to the years to come, she really longs to have someone with whom she can share the joy and happiness of the years to come (which is a different joy than seeing her children and grandchildren, if she has them, grow up and succeed in their lives). own life).
If you’ve been trying to find a partner and build an intimate relationship, but have been unsuccessful so far, or succeeded only for a short time and the relationship fell apart, do you know what went wrong? And if this has happened to you more than once, even more than twice, does it mean that there is a pattern of failures here? And if so, can you understand where this pattern comes from, what is attributed to this pattern?
Is there something in you that sabotages your attempts? This is not a simple question, because if you are not aware of what makes you fail, you cannot even know if there is something in you that makes you fail. If this is the case, it is very likely that you do not perceive yourself as the reason for the failure, but rather attribute the failure to other factors, be it your partner, the fact of not finding the “one”, your children (regardless of how old they are to those who don’t like your new partner), your financial situation, etc., etc. It’s always easy not to take responsibility for your failures and blame them on something else.
However, if you find yourself failing time and time again, and still want to find a partner with whom you can develop successful intimacy, you may want to develop an awareness of the facts that could be contributing to your failed attempts: Are you afraid? that get in the way of developing a truly intimate relationship? Do you have a need that makes you demand too much of your potential partner (to the point that he or she abandons you time and time again)? Are you too controlling and uncompromising (which makes life with you difficult)?
These and other problems may be what prevent you from building a successful intimacy. In other words, as much as you want to have a successful relationship, you could be sabotaging your own attempts to find one.
The main solution for such a situation is for you to develop awareness: Get in touch with the ways you shoot yourself in the foot in relationships. Having gained this awareness, having understood how you have sabotaged your attempts so far, you can proceed to find a partner with whom you can develop a truly successful relationship.