This is a very interesting topic that, oddly enough, keeps coming up for me. I spent 20 years of my life making sure I didn’t show my vulnerability. I felt extremely uncomfortable sharing my emotions or letting someone get too close to me. In my opinion, she actually had good reason to be, as she had experienced a lot of loss as a child. Now I know I thought, “Well, if I don’t get close to people, then there’s no chance that the people I love will leave me or die.” Unfortunately, that meant I was very closed off, very introverted, and unhappy, and instead used food and excessive exercise to control my emotions.
Although it can hurt to be vulnerable, it can also ultimately lead to love, joy, and belonging. So if we don’t allow ourselves to show our vulnerability, we are sadly closing ourselves off from the possibility of true joy in life.
It takes courage to open up and trust our feelings and beliefs to another person. We fear that we will be ridiculed, belittled or rejected, however often this is just our perception. We are all worthy of love and joy, yet for some of us, the experiences we have had in the past often lead us to believe that we are not. Why would you wear your heart on your sleeve when every time you do you end up in tears?
Interestingly, it is those tears that set us free. Giving in to emotion, asking for help, and giving to others ensures that we feel fulfilled and have a purpose that ultimately brings happiness and joy.
Through my work I know that many people overeat instead of showing their vulnerability. Food is an easy escape, we don’t have to risk anything to eat. However, it always ends in guilt, guilt, and shame, which leads to more binge eating and the cycle continues.
The wonderful thing about eating “naturally” is that it allows you to be mindful. So when you’re about to inhale that bag of chips or the familiar block of chocolate, if you stop and wonder, “What’s going on?” you may find that it is related to some kind of emotion that no amount of chocolate will fix.
When I was recovering from depression I was encouraged to sing. This allowed me to get the emotion out of my body instead of holding it in with food. Trust me, I won’t be auditioning for X Factor anytime soon, but it was very liberating. Since then now I cry if I need to or scream or even try to talk about what is happening to me. We don’t have to face these things on our own. We all have our own insecurities but it is not weakness to show or express them. It allows you to be authentic and real and live in the now and not in the past, creating a happy and positive future.