Although one will have the need to form close connections with others, they will not have been able to do so. Then, the need will be there, but they will not have been able to satisfy it.
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What they could find is that their life has been like this for as long as they can remember. And since they are interdependent human beings, this likely means that they have suffered greatly and continue to suffer.
A frustrating existence
Over the years, they may have been with various people who were emotionally unavailable. If so, they will have had multiple relationships, but they will not be able to fully connect with these people.
It could be as if they are very good at attracting people who are not ready for a relationship. As a result of this, one could see oneself as unfortunate and even have moments when they feel like a victim.
A different experience
On the other hand, they may have been able to go this far and may never have been in a relationship. This could make them wonder if there is something inherently wrong with them.
In order for their life to change, they might believe that they will need to move to another country or they will need a miracle. What is happening just won’t make any sense and they might be desperate for their life to change.
A heavyweight
Because of what is happening in this area of your life, you may find that almost every other area of your life suffers. It would be easy to say that they just need to learn to let go and yet this would overlook the importance of this area of their life.
Also, since this area of their life has been like this for so long, it will naturally have a huge impact on them. Not only will an important need be overlooked, but the effect this has on how they feel about themselves and their life will also be seen.
The reason
Now, if they were to seek outside support, they could end up telling them that they need to work on their self-esteem. By not believing that you deserve to have a satisfying relationship, you are sabotaging this area of your life.
By working on this part of them, it won’t be long until they can finally experience what they deserve to experience. They will have been through enough already, so now is the time for your life to change.
The same old story
After working on your self-esteem and level of worthiness, you may find that compared to how long you’ve been waiting, it doesn’t take long until your life changes. On the contrary, they may find that this does not have much of an effect.
Or, if their life changes, they might soon find that they really feel uncomfortable approaching someone else. Dealing with one problem will have put them in contact with another.
Total confusion
If this is what happens, they might have a hard time understanding why they would be unhappy with something they have wanted for so long. Also, since this need is part of the human experience, there is no reason for them to feel this way; approaching another should be what you are comfortable with.
Your conscious mind will not understand what is happening and this could show that your mind has blocked the information that would shed light on why they are like this. Most likely, there was a time when they were deeply traumatized and their mind has blocked this to protect them.
Back in time
This could be related to what happened during their early years, this being a time when they were abused and / or may have been neglected in an earlier period. Throughout their stage of life, they would usually have been overwhelmed.
His brain and nervous system would have been in an underdeveloped state and unable to handle what was happening. Therefore, to survive, they would have had to disconnect from themselves and live in a dissociated state.
The foundations were laid
If they had been physically hurt, they would have felt like they were going to die and / or, if they were neglected from the beginning, when they were given attention, the care they received may not have been appropriate, which has made them feel suffocated and as if they were to die. Whether one of these things or both happened, your limits would not have been respected.
To protect them, his ego-mind would have come to associate closeness to others and human contact as something that would cause them to be annihilated. These experiences would have been generalized, with every human being seen in the same way.
The consequences
Of course, the associations that were formed so many years ago will no longer serve them. At that time, they would have made it easier for them to handle what was happening by keeping their distance from others and not being emotionally present.
What happened will be over, but a large part of them will not realize that this stage of their life is over. For this part of them, their life will be the same and they will need to keep people at bay to stay alive.
Awareness
If you can relate to this and are ready to change your life, you may need to seek outside help. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.