There are the exceptions, the men who finally give in when pushed relentlessly, but these relationships don’t last. I have a friend who says “I won’t stop trying to hook it until it’s mine”. She will be ruthless in her activities and ultimately she will end up having to be deceitful in some way. She doesn’t believe in the allure of mystery or playing hard to get. In the end, she ends up disappointed. Eventually, these men find out and walk out the door. Men are a mindless race. ‘It is what it is’. Men are not as prone to being difficult and causing total confusion as women are. If you’re not sure if her intentions are sincere, here are some signs that she’s got you hooked.
1. He calls on the phone.
Generally, when men start to think that things may be tense in the relationship and that something doesn’t feel right…they will call and try to find out what it is. If you’ve dated him a few times and have a feeling he might be the one, but he’s elusive. Then you may need to take a second look and move on before hanging out to dry. He just isn’t interested if you can’t reach him easily.
Most men know that by calling you they are showing interest. Unless he’s shy and scared when dealing with women, he’ll call you. Once you’ve had a few dates and real connections and feelings have been formed, men will go to great lengths to contact you. He calls you to say “I was thinking about you, so I thought I’d call you.” If the man’s problem is that he’s shy or intimidated, you don’t want to be the one having to train him for the benefit of his future girlfriends…or do you?
2. He includes you in family activities.
He invites you to places with friends or family. If he includes you in activities with his loved ones, he wants you to be a part of his life. Why would you take a person you don’t give a fuck about to meet your family? Then you will have to go through all the questioning later when you are asked about her. Meeting the family is a big deal for a man and, in his opinion, it’s a big step. So if you played scrabble with mom and dad on “Saturday Scrabble Day,” his weekly ritual, he thinks you’re definitely a girlfriend.
3. Suggests that you leave things at his house.
If he asks you to leave a change of clothes, toiletries, etc. instead then you are acknowledging a commitment. Mind you, if he’s putting your stuff away in a box in the basement at the end of a maze with a retinal scanner to clear, then he’s hiding your relationship from someone. If his things aren’t out in the open, or where they can be easily spotted by anyone who stops by to visit, he’s not taking your time together seriously. Or worse yet, he has someone else he cares about, and you’re the one helping him get lost. If you can drop your bright pink toothbrush into the space next to hers, you’re in.
4. He lets you drive his car. Not because he’s been drinking. / And without him as a passenger.
If you drive a car that doesn’t have a back seat because it was stolen and the rear window is covered with plastic wrap, then this shouldn’t apply. You probably shouldn’t be driving that car anyway. This is for the guy who loves his car, spends hours waxing it, and takes pride in taking care of it. If he gives you the keys to his most prized possession, and not because it’s a matter of life and death (a designated driver), you’ve been deemed trustworthy. In his mind, he is showing the utmost trust in you, and the keys to his apartment will soon follow.
5. He says “I love you” with no hope of sex in sight.
If you’re walking down an aisle at the local market and he stops you to say “I love you,” he really does. Men are overwhelmed with emotion in the sack, but this is short-lived and in the throes of passion, it is not wise to put all your faith in their words. Men are like a valve that opens when pressure builds, this is the same for sex, but also for feelings and love. For men it is the action that counts, not the words. But if at the most random and unpredictable moment he expresses his feelings for you and has nothing to gain in the immediate future, he means it.
There are exceptions to this, but this applies if you are unsure at the start of a relationship. If the two of you have been together for a few months and in bed he says that he loves you, then listen to him. Some men could take a whole year to utter the words. He always tries to look at the context in which he expresses his undying love for you. Never say “I love you” first. Ever. Even if he loves you, he might get scared and feel like things are getting out of control. Out of his control, that is.
If the two of you have been together for a long time, you should know where he stands in his love for you. If she doesn’t, then she has bigger fish to fry. Women get their hearts broken every day by men they trust. Those who have thrown caution to the wind and ended up being swept away or tossed aside might have mitigated the blow if they had kept their hearts a bit.
Men can be influenced by many things that can affect how they view a budding relationship. Friends, family, past heartbreaks, and fear of commitment. Let them express themselves naturally and without pressure. If he’s not talking about his feelings all the time, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have real feelings for you.