Most parents want a strong, lifelong bond with their children. Too often, parents don’t understand that strong bonds begin before birth. In fact, many parents don’t consistently interact with their baby until the child is able to walk and talk. Parents need to understand that the first two years of a child’s life are critical to bonding. In these years, a baby is learning at a rate that makes most adults’ heads spin.
Many studies show that mothers are no more “attached” to their baby at birth than the father. Yes, Mom has carried the baby for forty weeks, but once the baby comes into this world, Mom and Dad start on the same footing, on the same level. Too often, men take a backseat to their interactions with their children for the first two years. This is one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make.
Another is trusting in the fact that your love as a parent will carry the bonding aspect of life into the baby’s adolescence and adulthood. There is only one thing that will unite a father with his son, and it is not love. it’s time
I’m not saying you don’t need love, but if you don’t take the time to pass on love, your child will never know your love. Parents have been distant for too many generations. If you want your child to grow up and rely on you for advice and support, invest the time now before he is born. Go to mom’s doctor appointments. Go to Lamaze classes. Learn about your baby and what mom is going through. Connect with your baby through Mom. To be there when he is born. Cut her umbilical cord through your tears of wonder at the miracle of birth.
Be there to hold your baby in the first minutes, days, weeks, months, years, and decades of life. Give her your time as she grows up and learns about life on this crazy planet. Read to her, sing to her, dance with her, teach her sign language (while learning yourself). Sacrifice some of your time to bond with someone who will love you forever for your effort.
With all that was mentioned in the last paragraph, none of this will happen without your freely giving of your time. Get away from our society’s mantra that selfishness is the standard of the day. Give it your time. Give it from the heart Don’t just tell her baby you love her, show her. There is no substitute for your time. No card, no purchase, no apology will succeed when you find a teenager you don’t know standing in front of you. What you invest early in his life will manifest in a close or distant relationship later in his life.
I think most parents want a strong relationship with their children. However, many have no idea how to get there. The crazy thing is that the answer is not difficult. Just spend time with your baby. Start before she is born. She continues EVERY DAY for the rest of her life. Her responsibility for her child does not end at eighteen. In fact, I’ve found that once your baby is on her own, you are just as important in her life as you were in the delivery room. That kind of relationship is built day by day, minute by minute from the very beginning of its existence. Give your time and your love will be known on a level that you could never hope to reach by any other means. Time: It is by far the most precious gift for your baby. Give it freely and give it often.